So your husband is really mad right now. His madness with all its negativity is making it really hard to have some breathing space at home…
His anger level is rising and you just can’t take it anymore.
You are angry and you literally want to SHUT HIM UP straight away. But deep down you know, this can be an extremely wrong action and it will only MAKE THINGS WORSE!
And after a big fight, there will be tears, regrets, hurtful comments and a long painful silence.
But how can you handle the anger monster who you know your hubby is not.
How do you deal with an angry husband and most importantly deal with an angry husband without losing your self-respect?
These situations are very common in almost every married woman’s life however couples get over with it and move on.
But it also happens that these situations sometimes leave a scar on either of the spouse’s heart which may take a really long time to forgive and forget what happened.
When you as a wife fail to deal with your angry husband smartly, it can lead to frequent arguments and fights which, if become habitual can lead to DIVORCE.
You just want to find a way through which you can deal with your husband’s anger wisely and totally… totally avoid the anger leading to an argument then to a fight and then to a miserable silence.
You want to know how to deal with you husbands anger in a way that your self-respect is barely touched and what could be better, that your husband accepts that he overreacted and got way too angry.
Wow! I mean this is almost like winning an OSCAR.
So what does it take from a wife’s end to manage her husband’s anger and avoid an unpleasant atmosphere building at home…
How to Deal with an Angry husband: 7 Effective Steps
Now that you have finally prepared yourself to encounter the situation and are determined that you will deal with an angry husband in a really respectful way, here is what you got to do:-
1. Silence is Gold, its diamond, it’s EVERYTHING!
I know this is the hardest part.
I mean your husband is not in his actual state of mind, he’s having an outburst, he is spitting out stupid, irrelevant stuff from his mouth, he doesn’t care whether the kids are around or not, he is so angry he’s huffing and puffing like a wolf, maybe he even looks like one right now….But THIS IS NOT HIM!
So just shut your mouth, no matter how tempted you are to fire back those words of revenge just SHUT UP.
By shooting words right now you are just adding fire to the coal, so please try to remain silent. Don’t say anything.
Just remember that the anger will go away but words shot at this heated moment may leave scars which might take forever to heal.
Tip: Think of a funny scene from a movie, or think of a really silly thing that you did with your hubby, but don’t smile and look serious.
Remember women are great actresses and any such act which can save the day…BRAVO!.. So, just CAMERA, LIGHTS, ACTION.
2. Do Not Walk Away
Never walk away and shut the door behind him.
This only makes him feel that you don’t care. Stay there, I know this is hard but trust me you are doing one of the most amazing act right now.
By your actions, you are letting him know that I am here with you now, although you are angry like a baboon I am with you. I care, I am a cushion and not a wall.
Tip: Act like an audience and not an actor, your husband is putting up a really dramatic intense show, just watch it and get drained, Opps! I mean entertained 🙂
3. If You are the Reason, Apologize
This little lesson taught in school is one lesson in life that will get you through many difficult situations, and always remember; the one who says sorry is the bigger person because you are accepting your mistake and a sincere sorry from your overall body language will work effectively to calm down the heat.
4. Be Manipulative Not Stupid
I know this sounds a bit sly, but if there are certain things you know that irk your husband, avoid them.
I’m not asking you to become a liar or a cheater, but I’m just saying act smarter.
For example, if your husband doesn’t want to be kept waiting when going out, just prepare ahead.
Yes leave everything aside, and focus on getting ready. The laundry can be folded later and it’s not more important than seeing your husband’s calm mood. So just manage the mood and keep him happy because remember if he’s happy then you are happy.
Repeating the same mistake of ignoring his triggers and not changing your ways is simply stupid. So just change your ways and keep your head up with respect.
5. Be Compassionate When He’s Angry
Anger is weakness and it’s most likely that your husband feels that he doesn’t have control over a situation and feels helpless.
It’s men psychic that they express pain and hopelessness through anger, you may call it an error in their system or just accept this system, because hardly ever we witness a man crying over that his wife won’t care for him instead he would first display some episodes of outbursts in front of his wife till he eventually enters the crying phase which might be the end of marriage.
So just keep your body language like Buddha and not like Queen Victoria 🙂
Your compassion, your empathy in this dire situation will make your husband literally want to worship you, of course, he won’t do it this way, but you are skillfully building a huge level of respect within him.
6. Give Him Space
Once the bubbles and froths of anger have quietly settled down, just breathe. Don’t think about his anger, in fact, don’t even think about him, just BREATHE.
Your husband desperately needs the space right now, remember he is ashamed.
He is hurt and he needs the time and space to come back to his normal senses. So let it be!
Leave him alone in the room for some time and you do something else, maybe that ignored, messed up kitchen drawer needs your attention now, so get up and start arranging the cutlery.
Why am I saying to do arrangement right now?
It has a psychological reason.
When your brain is involved in something mathematical like counting spoons or arranging items, it automatically drives your brain to another direction.
7. Some Form of Spirituality is Needed
Whether you pray or do yoga or meditation this is a good time.
Always remember the angry one is the weaker species, and you are not losing anything.
You are becoming a stronger person emotionally, by learning how to control your anger.
Since you know how to deal with an angry husband, when he’s really angry you are just winning a battle within yourself of not losing self-control.
Keep telling yourself that this is how men are.
This is how they vent out worries, fears, depression.
So let it be!
In the meanwhile, I will breathe, meditate and pray for this moment to pass.
No matter how hard it may seem this is not impossible.
Start with baby steps for dealing your husband’s anger and gradually walk towards the 7th step.
Who knows that just the 1st step might change your husband’s temperament and he also learns to overcome anger.
But always remember one thing, never let anger turn into violence and if he starts abusing you or hurts you physically, then you need to take charge to protect yourself and also kids if you have them.