Do you remember the story of the three little pigs?
When the pigs won’t open the door, the wolf huffs and puffs and blows with anger.
Doesn’t this action resemble a very angry husband? If this is your life then you are starting to think why is my husband always angry?
Let me make some things clear first, trying to help an angry and moody husband and overcome his weakness is what a good and loving wife does, but living with a violent husband is a weakness.
Difference Between an Angry and Violent Husband
- Angry husband yells, screams, may even throw furniture around the house.
- A violent husband will get physically abusive towards his wife and children.
- An angry husband may verbally bring you down with statements like you will never be good enough, or I don’t like you anymore, or even call you names and may ill talk about your family ( I know this is too much, but it happens in anger)
- A violent husband will actually do more talking with his hands, he simply crosses all limits to belittle you.
- Basically, when a husband turns violent he has intentions of hurting you and will have no regrets.
So if your husband falls into the category of anger you should not back out so soon but try to help him manage his anger, come out of this rage and try to help him become a better calmer person.
Why is My Husband Always Angry?
You see no matter how much we hear that women are complex I believe that men are even more complex.
They are complex because they want to be heard before they even speak, they want to be given love before they even ask for it, and most importantly they want to be understood before they even explain the issue.
So with a gender that’s so demanding in every way, we women often find it very difficult to do an accurate prognosis of the actual problem. And get so irritated thinking, why is my husband always angry?
All of us suffer from it at some point in lives, some suffer from it less and some suffer from it more in fact so much more that they end up in depression which is even worse.
But how men deal with stress can be pretty annoying. Your hubby might snap at you for no reason and give those dreaded raised eyebrows, which you simply can’t take.
It could be anything, like financial stress is a key factor for building up stress in husbands especially. Men know they are responsible for providing the family. Even if you are sharing the financial responsibilities if a man is finding difficulty in earning a substantial amount of income, this can build quite an amount of stress on him.
And even if you don’t complain, he just feels that you believe he is not doing good enough which further aggravates anger.
It’s easier for us wives to explain to children about money and what’s pricey and what’s not but men especially fathers want to do everything for their children, and if they feel they are failing their children, they get angry and moody.
So if your hubby lost his job, or he became indebted, or he isn’t able to pay off that loan, or his business just failed all of this can account for a major build-up of stress.
Does your hubby question you more than once if you washed that apple before cutting it? Reports of street crimes in the neighborhood freak him out? News of viruses in water freak him out? And when you snap at him he replies I’m just being cautious, is there something wrong with it?
Anxiety is the fear of the unknown.
For any action, we fear reaction and mostly the negative ones. So when your hubby is very anxious about guests coming over for dinner it could be this is the boiling point.
Your hubby gets anxious about situations which he can’t control. And the only way he can vent out his anxiety is through anger.
3. Fear of Failure
All of us fear failure, don’t we? We want to perform the best and become winners. But this is life and failure is a big part of it. Some people cry over it, some feel sad and depressed and give up. However, some find enough courage to perform again.
So if your husband invested in a new business and is not happy this can make his mood irritable.
Men usually get angry in front of their wives and children because they think they are a part of him.
All they know this is my anger venting zone and they want an ear for it, so be it yours.
When a man is angry he is hardly thinking or feeling, he is not himself.
Always remember one thing a married man has dreams and goals for his entire family. This builds more stress leading to anger.
4. Poor Appetite
This is a big one.
Too much sugar and carbs cause us to slow down, which eventually leaves us hungry more.
But what does this have to do with men?
A lot of junk and fried foods and less, protein and fiber rich diet creates a hormonal imbalance in the body leading to irritability.
Although Anxiety=Poor Appetite, the reversal is also true.
When a man makes unhealthy choices intentionally, he is disturbed, frustrated and angry.
A University of Chicago study looked at 25 healthy men who performed a stressful public speaking task and then a non-stressful control task. After each activity the subjects received fluid intravenously – either the equivalent of two alcoholic beverages or a placebo. The researchers measured effects such as anxiety and the desire for more alcohol, as well as heart rate, blood pressure, and the levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) present. They found that alcohol can actually prolong feelings of tension brought on by stress, and stress can reduce the pleasant effects of alcohol and spike cravings for more. Like caffeine, alcohol is also dehydrating and can interfere with sleep.
6. Sexual frustration
This is a big one. In fact, this is a very critical reason.
A woman’s desire for sex is slightly different from men. Women first need to be ready with all their heart to have sex. Any predisposing anger or frustration surely affects her performance. But men are never tired of sex. They want it when they want it and if they don’t get it they get pissed off. No sex no happy faces!
7. Underlying Illnesses
When was the last time your hubby got his routine check up? His blood work, blood pressure, eyesight check up etc?
Maybe he is not feeling well from inside and is suffering from some kind of physical condition. Low energy and fatigue make him angry and moody.
8. Annoying Wife
Well, I just had to put this one on the list.
Do you ask too many questions or lack trust in him? Are you always complaining? Do you have a hard time managing your anger and anxieties? Then, lady, you need to analyze yourself, before asking why is my husband always angry?